May 5, 2008 -- Recently Returned

So, I piggybacked a trip to PDX off of a work trip last week. I was in town for about 3.5 days. Evidently my dad was very excited to see me -- but like me, he's dead inside and shows no emotion. We had a pretty good weekend. He did a good job of hiding the excruciating pain he feels. I was very proud that I actually got him up to do something. I made him get the grill ready so I could cook dinner. This isn't a wild task -- he just has to take the tarp off, but considering he doesn't do anything other than go to the doctor and get the mail now, that's a pretty big step.

The second big step he took was going to the mall with me. On Saturday, during the deluge, we went to the Woodburn Outlet Mall (so I could get some work clothes). This was the longest he had been out of the house (other than for chemotherapy) since before Christmas. How crazy is that? We didn't stay out long, but I think it did him some good to get out of those four walls and that fuckin' TV.

Friday we also did some shopping -- but it was at home shopping. Laurie Elliott from Macy and Son Funeral Home came to out house and helped us plan the funeral. Technically we planned two funerals -- one for each of my parents. We went through and picked the caskets (not a coffin -- evidently a coffin is a six sided box usually used to hold a vampire -- WHO KNEW?), picked who would officiate (is that the right word? It's not a wedding, but you know what I mean). Picked the plot. Decided on music. Decided to donate the eye glasses -- they wanted to know if I wanted to keep them. I don't. I don't picture my parents with glasses, so it's not like I'm actually going to associate them with the glasses. My parents picked out everything they wanted -- they planned the whole party. No the food, of course. My dad was very hesitant at first, he was wandering around in the back yard like a hungry dog when we started talking about this, but after about 30 minutes he joined us.

Laurie Elliott did a fantastic job. She knew when to joke, when to be serious, and how to help us through the whole process. She wasn't selling us -- well, she was, but she didn't seem like a filthy salesman. She gave us honest opinions on the caskets, and when we said we didn't want to spend $X, she showed us alternates that were in the price range, but had the same qualities. Come on -- who is going to spend $20,000 on a box? She never even showed us the $20K caskets, but still, they are out there. How silly is that?

So we finalized the whole thing. My parents decided not to purchase the plan, as they are more concerned about saving their money for treatment, insurance, etc. So I put it on a payment plan and am paying it off in monthly installments.

My favorite conversation of the weekend went something like this:

MOM: Tizz (what she calls me--ever since I can remember), when is mothers day?
TIM: Next Sunday
MOM: Really? Are you coming home?
TIM: Uh, no. I'm home now. And I'll be home again in 18 days. I'm in SFO next weekend with JDE.
MOM: Oh yeah. Don't worry about buying me a mothers day present (pointing to necklace being advertised on TV).
TIM: Oh, don't worry, I wasn't (I laugh).
MOM: No, I'm serious -- you just bought me a funeral, I can't ask for anything else.