July 26, 2007 -- Another week?

It seems like not much has happened, but as I think back -- lots of things have changed. My dad is out of the hospital. The cancer has officially spread to his lungs. They've changed his chemo to direct it to the lungs too. He said the chemo is so much better -- no nausea, nothing at all. He's eating well. He's been riding the exercise bike daily. He's a bit more tired than normal, but he has been actually doing things.

My aunt has been in Oregon for nearly a week now. My mom has so much more energy, and has been laughing. I think her visit was exactly what my parents needed. Now they are staying at the glamorous Holiday Inn near PDX (that's the only hotel I could get a room -- c'mon, how outrageous is that??) My aunt leaves at 630 tomorrow morning -- what a god awful time to catch a flight.

I'm not religious, but am spiritual. When my dad was in the hospital, and we weren't sure if he was going to make it, I prayed. I asked "whomever" to take away my dad's pain, and give it to me -- figuring I could handle it better. I often hear parents say the same thing when their kids are sick, a two way street, eh? So since my dad has been feeling really really good, I've felt like shit. A fever of 101+, achy, throbbing headache, lack of appetite, etc. I'd still rather be like this for the next 70 years than have my dad be in pain at all. I figure this is how my dad felt while he was in the hospital -- but I know that in a few days, I'll be fine. He won't be.

My high school reunion is coming up in a couple weeks. I'm looking forward to seeing Jenn, Joe, Amber, Kelly....and....Troy....David....well, that's about it, I reckon. It's funny to see how important this is to some people (believe me, I am happy to go, and I'm glad someone planned it, because I sure as shit wasn't going to do it). It really puts things in prospective for me. The coordinator sent a little bitchy email because I hadn't completed the like 2 of the 5 things she needed -- and it was "REALLY IMPORTANT". Is it? No. I don't hold it against her -- we've all been there. It just made me take a step back and not stress about things that seem like big deals at the time. -- Christ, that was rambling and bull shitty....but I'm not fixing it.

I have a lot of travel coming up between now and end of September-- and I can't wait. I love to travel.

Although this blog is probably the most difficult thing to read -- but fuck it. I think it's the fever. It has been cathartic for me.

OH! What the fuck?! Tammy Faye Bakker died the day after the Larry King interview? Even though she looked like death warmed over, she gave me some hope -- ugh.